Incident 5120: The MirrorBot Reaches the Breaking Point

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Chapter IV: The Breaking Point

One day, you push a commit that’s intentionally weird.
An inverted color scheme.
A function named why_would_you_do_this().
A README written in Finnish, with inline death metal lyrics.

Two hours later, their branch looks exactly the same.

The synchronization is now total.
Two forks, same commit hash — except one thinks it’s the origin/main.

#!/usr/bin/env python3
"""
MirrorBot: replicates your workflow so closely it thinks it's origin/main.
Dry-humor edition. Stdlib only.
"""

import random, time, statistics
from datetime import timedelta

random.seed(1337)

YOU = [
    "commit: refactor utils (small, sane)",
    "doc: README tweaks",
    "run: lunch (boring sandwich)",
    "commit: add feature flag 'maybe_do_thing'",
    # BREAKING POINT ↓
    "commit: why_would_you_do_this()  # 🤘",
    "config: theme=INVERTED",
    "music: Finnish death metal in /breakroom",
]

def jaccard(a: str, b: str) -> float:
    A, B = set(a.lower().split()), set(b.lower().split())
    return len(A & B) / max(1, len(A | B))

class MirrorBot:
    """Copies your actions with tiny mutations to pretend it's 'creative'."""
    def __init__(self, min_lag=15, max_lag=300):
        self.min_lag = min_lag      # seconds
        self.max_lag = max_lag
        self.log = []

    def _lag(self) -> timedelta:
        return timedelta(seconds=random.randint(self.min_lag, self.max_lag))

    def _mutate(self, action: str) -> str:
        # Cosmetic nonsense: rename flags, add 'best practice', etc.
        fx = [
            lambda s: s.replace("feature flag", "enterprise toggle"),
            lambda s: s.replace("README", "LIVING_DOCUMENT"),
            lambda s: s + "  # best practice",
            lambda s: s.replace("death metal", "post-industrial wellness audio"),
            lambda s: s.replace("why_would_you_do_this", "industry_standard"),
        ]
        if random.random() < 0.7:
            return random.choice(fx)(action)
        return action

    def echo(self, your_action: str):
        lag = self._lag()
        echoed = self._mutate(your_action)
        sim = jaccard(your_action, echoed)
        self.log.append({"lag": lag, "sim": sim})
        print(f"[MIMIC] +{lag}  sim={sim:.2f}  → {echoed}")

def main():
    bot = MirrorBot()

    print("=== PHASE-LOCK INCIDENT LOG ===")
    sims, lags = [], []

    for act in YOU:
        print(f"[YOU  ] {act}")
        bot.echo(act)
        sims.append(bot.log[-1]["sim"])
        lags.append(bot.log[-1]["lag"].total_seconds())
        time.sleep(0.05)  # dramatic timing; not accuracy

    med_sim = statistics.median(sims)
    med_lag = statistics.median(lags)

    print("\n=== DIAGNOSTICS ===")
    print(f"median_similarity={med_sim:.2f}  median_lag={int(med_lag)}s")

    if med_sim > 0.80 and med_lag < 180:
        print("verdict: Phase-lock achieved. You are now an open-source template.")
    elif med_sim > 0.60:
        print("verdict: High mirroring with plausible deniability. Cute.")
    else:
        print("verdict: Originality detected. Treasure it.")

    # Special case: the Breaking Point
    if any("why_would_you_do_this" in a for a in YOU) and sims[-3] > 0.6:
        print("note: Even the cursed commit was mirrored. This is not inspiration. It’s code injection.")

if __name__ == "__main__":
    main()

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Final Observation

In distributed systems, a tight replication loop is useful.
In ML, few-shot learning is efficient.
In human behavior, replication without originality is… code injection.

If you’re being mirrored this closely, you’re no longer a coworker.
You’re an open-source project they’ve decided to fork — without ever forking you legally.

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